love at odd place (or not)

i found love in your eyes
and in your smiles
the way you look at me
when you seem so happy

you wait for me every night
with such joy at the first sight
of me walking towards you
with hugs and kisses just for you

o child, you’re not mine
but from the way your eyes shine
i’m honoured with love so pure
i just want to say that i love you too, of that i’m sure!

it’s a little bit rusty, oh who am i kidding, the whole bit felt rusty! *blush* this one is for fayyad and his love for me, the innocent love of a child. may he grows up to be a great, kind and humble man, amin :)

mama muna loves you fayyad!

kimi cuti saya pun cuti

ahhh kimi *sigh*

taken from autosport.com:

dengan itu, adalah official saya pun tidak perlu ke sepang next year. i’d miss the racing atmosphere for sure. but then apparently there’s no point in spending my money untuk melihat pasukan dibenci (ferrari) and  pelumba dibenci (massa + alonso + lewis).

button sign contract ngan mclaren. saya dengar berita semalam kat sinar. bagus gak wartawan sinar ni, slalu dapat siar berita terkini, haha.

and now terjawab persoalan kenapa tiket tahun depan saya tak dapat beli. saya selalu lucky that way. alhamdulillah..kalo tak apa nak buek meraung sorang2 aaa kat sepang kan.

harap2 team2 yg ada kekosongan 2011 dapat perform dengan bagus supaya kimi banyak option nak race 2011.

i’ll miss u a lot kimi :( take care.

if i have a boy, i might named him ali akbar

but then, i’d like to name kimi as well. adakah nama kimi ali akhbar bin something something (hihi :p) sounds weird? i’ve gone through many phases of kids’ name tapi still belum ada rezeki nak dapat anak. errr, how come bleh beranak tak kawen2 eh? haha :”>

dolu2 saya nak bubuh my 1st boy nama yang ada perkataan hakimi kat hujung. reason being bleh panggil dia kimi (duhhh!). pehtu bleh tak google maksud middle name kimi, mathias. apparently maksudnya gift of god. kita google plak gift of god dalam arabic. dapatlaa ataullah. bleh tak buh nama anak kimi ataullah? laki saya marah tak?

i really hope my sis bleh namakan anak dia ali akbar. sebab i really like ali akbar as a person :) ahhh, how our education system neglecting islamic history part2 keturunan nabi, peristiwa karbala etc. last year bough peristiwa karbala’s book, atau lebih tepat script drama karbala yang ditulis oleh faisal tehrani. it made me cry when i read about ali akbar, saidina hussin’s 1st son, insisting to go out and fight, walau masa tuh dia still budak2 lagik. tak silap faisal tulis umur dia masa tuh baru 12. tapi kalau ikut wiki, ikut tahun hijrah dia 17tahun. tak kisahlaa, still gak dia budak2 lagik.

i don’t get all the tuduh menuduh syiah sesat stuffs. yelah, ilmu di dada tidak mendalam. but then, please tell me, how come following ajaran islam dari keturunan nabi yang mulia bleh sesat? mengikut riwayat, rasulallah did named ali as his successor. tapi tong teng tong teng, orang2 memilih abu bakar as his 1st successor. and alangkah kejinya bila saya belajar pendidikan islam and tamadun islam, dengan tak tau apa2, saya berfikir ali mesti not a good leader. ada puak2 berpecah. rakyat memberontak. ada yazid jahat jadik munafik laa, macam ali takleh kontrol. i hang my head in shame whenever i thing about it. somehow, pendidikan sekular kita tak focus mendalam hal2 camni.

ada gak kang orang google2 syiah sesat pehtu maki hamun saya, haha.

err tetiba tatau nak cerita apa. nantilaa update lagik. tata.

i cannot sleep i cannot dream tonight

kalo dah tak tido camne nak mimpi laaa yeop? hihihi.

anyway, it’s been a while since saya update blog saya ini. not that i have that many readers. for all i know, it’s only me reading my own blog, heh. and i’m tired of reading about me mopping about kimi. (note to kimi: hurry up love. just go to mclaren and be done with it! i’ll buy your mclaren shirt next year:p)

my sister made me a makngah for the 6th time on the 26th, presenting me with another boy. and he’s still under observation due to some lung complication yada yada which orang2 and my mum translated into “budak tertelan air ketuban”. owh man, babies are swallowing amniotic fluid all the time. they really shouldn’t put it that way. “budak tersedut air ketuban” sounds better, huh? am hoping that he’d get well soon so  that i could hold and cuddle him to my heart content :)

short note on f1, jenson and the brawn team won the championship this year. last race in brazil was so interesting but i was not in the right mood to write it down. i just need kimi to decide soon.

i think i miss sayang. and this is why i couldn’t sleep tonight. i just need that weekly dose of him. the more the better. but at the very least, i need to feel see him once a week. this week i was busy. and then on thursday (kitorang slalu dating malam jumaat, wahahahha :p) he had some work to do and so was i. owhhh rinduuuuuuuuuuu!

on a happier note, i dropped 1 size already! tak sia2 berlapar segala. am still fat but i lose around 6kg already, thanks to kejadian food poisoning earlier on. akan terus berlapar until i can fit into my old clothes :p

speaking of  old clothe, there’s this one shirt that i really like. dulu2 walau tak segemuk sekarang, saya hanya fit nicely into xl shirt. maybe sebab asset2 berharga yang TIDAK bernilai 5posen (wahahhaha). tapi i really like this shirt and dah banyak habis. tinggal size l aje. beli aa slambe. but i just wore it 1 time. masa tuh tak kenapa tah apa buat tah, jalan2 tengok umah wadie. masa tu dia duduk kat area2 taman equine sana. pehtu sembang2, pehtu kawan wadie ada gitar wadie main2 gitar nyanyi2. ahahhaha, tetiba teringat lepas balik shopping kat taman equine khamis lepas. setahun lagik bleh laa kot pakai semula.

ahhh ngantuk. tapi sekarang tengah tangkap tikus. dilema betul. nak tido pun tak senang ati, bleh.

i’ll stop here. take care. tata.

the day kimi turns 30 :D

it’s race weekends. brazil. and it’s raining cats and dogs out there. qualifying has been dragging on for over 2 hours now and it’s only q2.

kimi is holding himself fine though. thanks for the rain. with his skill, he drives that under performing ferrari quite well. he’s through to q3 (mind that he’s 18th for practice 3). with rain easing up, he might not get up to 1st or 2nd row, but he’ll try his best to do so :D

and for his birthday wishes…

kimi,

thanks for making my life so colourful for the past 9 years. f1 will not be the same without you. it will be so painful to be in sepang knowing that you are not there. so please give me at least 1 more year to enjoy your driving skills, your enchanting smiles and your calm and collective self.

i wish you all the best for whatever you do in the future.

happy birthday kimi!

how could they do this to you?

from f1 offical website:

i have nothing to say over this. i’m overwhelm by sadness and despair. i’ve planned to enjoy his last season, which should be in 2010. i’d forego my plan for singapore gp 2009 in favour of next year. and then ferrari dump this on my lap. how could they? i hope they’re doomed never to make any win in f1 after kimi goes.

and last night, bothered by all this news, i finally dream of kimi. in my dream he said to just wait for his announcement. he’s not going to spill the bean for me. and then there’re some sort of rumours that kimi will have some kind of option driving seat – with ferrari. in case massa could’t come back, he’d then drive for ferrari.

and the girls at balls of steel forum are not making it all better today. they, like me, like everyone else still don’t have any definite clue over kimi’s decision. he might move to rally. and i might move to tears…

god, please make him way to compete for another f1  season, amin.

anxiously waiting

pagi tadik on the way to work, dengar berita kat sinar.fm yang alonso is confirmed to replace kimi at ferrari. mak aihhhhh. my heart skipped a beat. rasa nak meraung je. cepat2 nak lari masuk office. sekali tuh bleh tak notebook ni ada masalah nak start. nasik recovery system dia tiptop and masalah settle. tengok2 kat f1 website, memang betul. cepat2 login forum budak2 pompan f1, baca2 plak kan. sebab kat official f1 website kata kimi tak reveal his plan for 2010 lagik.

anddddddddddddddd

turn out that there’s rumours that kimi will be back at mclaren! wohoooooooooo! what a great news i might say. oklah, saya tak suka their current colours, orange-silver. buruk bebeno. zaman kimi dulu gila mantap silver-red-black. itu baru ensem kan kan. baru merchandise pon cantik meletops! anyhow, kalo tetap orange-silver, i’m sure i can grew into it, haha.

and now what we can do is wait for all the pieces to fit in. sekarang musim pertukaran pemain, hihi. renault kena banned kan 2 tahun? tapi biasalah fia nih. karang sok sek sok sek alih2 tak banned plak. bwm sauber tatau dah jumpa pembeli ke belum. lotus f1 team (ni kerajaan malaysia ada campur tangan ni) masuk balik..with tony fernandez as team principal! mak aihhh. memang tahun depan i’d say is so much fun! dengan syarat kimi adala kan. kalo tak, gasaklaa apa nak jadik pon, ahahahha.

if worse come to worse and kimi leave f1 starting next year, most probably i’d forego my penchant of drivers ogling in sepang :”> and i have no need for high end camera yang boleh zoom gegila kerana nak tangkap pic kimi. and i might as well cancel my autosport suscription! in short, i don’t know what to do anymore! *hit panic button*

my dear kimi, please make up your mind soon (although i’m sure you’ve plan by now). and make the RIGHT decision (you know what i mean).

ahhh panik panik panikkkkkkkkkkkkkkk *check forum every hour for update*

p/s: banyak lagik news on 2010 silly season, but it all can wait until kimi/mclaren announce their intention. sekian.

annoyed

ok, actually i’m still in happy mood sebab a) sudah sihat, alhamdulillah and b) nanti malam leh jumpa sayang, yippeeee! but, ada satu perkara been bugging me laa for few months now. i think chics and few fellow bloggers yang saya baca blognya even pernah blogging ala2 hal yang sama. yeahh, it’s about our so called “friends” on facebook. whylaaaa certain people ni suka bagi lawak tak kelakar (trademark wadie ni) or being insensitive bila nak mengomen ek? ko, kalo nak sakitkan ati takyah komen laaa, boleh tak?

case study 1

i put recent pics of malam indonesia 3 on fb. ada mamat ini komen:

yelah banggg, ko jelaaa yang tak pernah gi konsert. ko je laaa yang ahli masjid. ko sangat beriman dan sentiasa solat berjemaah di masjid tak pernah miss! benci laaaa aku orang2 macam ni kan. pehtu ada plak hati nak cakap organizer tanggung dosa sapa miss solat. apsal tanak mention dosa bersentuh2 di khalayak ramai pehtu berhibur2 lagho semua? dah alang2 mention dosa2 ni kan. kasik list laaaaaaaaaaaa panjang skets, huhuhu.

oklah, aku taklaa marah orang nak berdakwah kan. but what irks me the most is the way dia cakap tuh. ko kenapa???? ko aje ke dijamin syurga? ko je ke amalan wajib sunat semua cukup? haduiiiiiiiii. and he is a teacher, mind you. apa punya jenis daaa ini macam pun ada.

case study 2

this mamat adalah ala2 kera sumbang masa kat u. nobody wants to befriend him. since dia budak palapes and 1 of our konco2 kenal/kawan ngan dia, we (the konco) accepted him into our group. groupie laa sangat kan. ahahhahaha. padahal rasanya kami ni konco yang ramai gila orang jaki/dengki/menci. dahhh, ikut kepala sendiri je nak buat apa pun. we joined kelab perpaduan yang ala2 bertentangan dengan pmi :p sangat aktif laa segala kan. tapi takdelaa orang pmi yang anti. ini rakyat2 biasa je anti. kitorang kuat bersembang pun nak anti ke? hoh!

eh lupa citer mamat ni kan. dia basically baikkk. kalau gi kuar pasar malam mesti belikan oleh2 kat 5 orang gundik dia ni, haha. kitorang renggang bila dia kapel ngan bini dia sekarang ni. minah tu jeles kot. he finally found me few months back on fb. i was super excited. until dia menunjukkan belang kepoyoan melampau dia.

lepas jumpa kat fb, we exchanged number and all. so he called me. and tetiba nak mention he’s working at o&g company as project manager ke apa ke jadah ke tah. i was like, huh? adakah perlu nak mengimpress saya dengan memberi statement begitu? hey, i’m surrounded by o&g people laaa! silap orang laa lu, haha. and they are far more decent. tak perlu mention2 apa position dalam company ke apa ke. yang penting aku bleh pow kalau keluar makan >:)

lepas dia poyo2 tuh saya cepat2 mengelak and suruh dia call nob plak. and then i saw some annoying comment in my fb. sudah tak ingat apa dia komen. and saya telah delete sebab mencik, ahahahhahahah.

anyway, ini latest komen dia yang wat saya annoyed:

yelahhh, aku tau aku gemukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. tak perlu aaa buat statement kasik sentap seperti di atas, okehhh!

case study 3

mamat ni (eh, semua mamat je ni, ahahhahahah) plak adalah schoolmate saya. tetttttttttttttt. tetiba berbunyi lak siren kan tak kasik bagi statement banyak2, haha. btw, ini pun saya hairan kenapa sangat laser dan poyo sekarang???

yelahhhh, aku ni bawak kancil buruk je. aku tak mampu beli kereta besar. kereta waja pun tak mampu. pehtu kereta aku dah lama plak tuh kan. orang lain semua bawak kereta cc besar baru berkilat2. pehtu nak selit gak kan aku gemuk. yelahhhh, ko memang sangat kurusssssssss! sheeeshhh!

case study 4

i don’t even know why she made this comment. asalnya it was on another friend’s walls. itu angah saya itu, memang gemar sangat tanya bila nak kawen. ahahhahaha. as if i have the answer. since she’s my bestfriend (walau pas kawen cam biasa drift away laa kan), saya taklaa nak terasa2 bagai. eh eh, minah ni bukan angah saya tau :p silakan baca komen minah ini:

huwaaaaaaaaaaaa, nanges kan baca komen dia ni. abes tuh saya nak buat apa? nak suruh saya tinggalkan pakwe saya? eh eh suka ati saya aaa kan. and suka ati pakwe saya aa tanak kawen lagik. it’s not as if saya tanya and dia jawablaa tanak kawen lagi tuh, haha. in fact saya tak tanya pon. i’ve made it super clear to him that i’m available – to him. kalo nak pandai2 pinang :p so, kalo lom pinang2, dia lom ready lagillaa tuh. and saya tanak sibuk2 tanya dia, apsal dia tanak kawen2 lagik. ko nak tanyakan ke? nak no tepon pakwe aku tak? huhuhu.

case study 5

ini another minah yang usaha giat mara nak carik customer baru. tengok komen dia. recent sangat ni kejadian ni, haha.

firstly, kita takleh menjamin bleh healthy forever ok. nikmat kesihatan ni Allah yang kasik. alahaiii dik. she’s my junior at school.

and secondly, ada dia tanya saya sakit apa? kalau nak berniaga tuh pun, bawak2 laaa at least PURA-PURA concern ngan bakal customer. ini main terjahh je. sakit jap jiwa saya, ahahhahaha. anyway komen2 lepas tuh buat saya happy balik.

special note buat ayumi, thanks doakan saya sihat! hihi.

ok, cukup dah buat case study hari ni. panjang melampau dah entry. tata!

hihihi

ok, i’m happy. sebab saya dah sembuh dari food poisoning, yehaaa! my body took it really bad cause dah lama gilaaaaaaa tak sakit. not even a simple batuk/selsema. bila nikmat kesihatan ditarik  Allah kejap, mak aihhhh seksanya! alkisahnya, saya masak my favourite ikan siakap jamie oliver style. yang bahan2 dia semua asing2 pada makcik2 gamaknya (e.g. basil, fennel etc). then entahlaa. maybe it was the basil. or maybe it was the fennel. since my dad makan ikan tuh dengan gembira and he’s healthy as a horse! (ngapa nak kata kuda je sihat eh? :p)

it all started around midnight on saturday. mula2 report kat sayang kepala macam pening2 so nak tido. around 2am macam tuh terjaga sebab really sakit perut. tido pun macam tak lena before that pun. then startlaaa memerut. sampai abes segala isi tetap gak nak mengeluarkan apa2 liquid yg ada :(

we planned to go for lontong p.ramlee on sunday morning. tapi dah sakit2 ni tanak dahlaa. but my parents dah janji ngan anak angkat dia yang kerja kfc segamat nak jumpa kan. so diorang tetap keluar laa. saya pesan jelah ubat cirit + jangan balik lambat2, haha.

around 10 waktu saya memerut, i was in cruciating pain. this is gross, tapi saya nak taip jugak: i threw up whilst doing my berry2. memula rasa loya2. saya tahan2. but takleh dah. perut tolak ke atas. and purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. haa camtuhlaa bunyik dia, haha. agaknya kalo tadah ada laa sebesen kot. eeeeeeeeeeeee *mual bila fikirkan*

call emak and report kejadian serta berpesan segeralah pulang, ahahahhaha. diorang dah sampai segamat and promised to come back as early as possible.

diorang balik bawak ubat, tapi haram jadah tak effect sangat. ubat cirit tuh kena makan 2 mula2 and 1 bila perlu, which i took as lepas tercirit laa kan. lepas telan 2 bijik, perut aman selama 2 jam. then cirit lagik. makan sebijik, tahan sejam cirit lagik. macam tuhlaa ulang2. siap bising2 kat mak sebab kenapa takde ubat demam (bila kita cirit birit biasanya akan membawa demam) and takde ubat angin/sakit perut? ahahahha, dah namanya beli je kat kaunter and tak jumpa doktor kan :p

petang macam dah ok dah. ayah blend green apple 2 kali and made me quaker oats with susu pekat manis. tuh pun sesudu tak abes. there goes all the extra lemak yang dikumpul masa raya, haha. actually tatau nak suka ke nak nanges coz at that time i’d rather have all those extra fat berbanding kesakitan melampau itu.

but, around midnight after series of berry2, demam sudah datang. i felt so cold. menggigil2. siap goose bump segala walau tido dalam comforter. merangkak2 carik comforter and telan paracetamol 2 bijik. masa tuh memang mengucap2 je laaa sebab it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo painful. nak nanges pun tahap takbleh nanges. it was THAT painful. nini pun jadik takut dengar saya mengerang2 and refused to sleep in my room. i let him out and suffered alone (ayat tragis, haha).

it took the longest 1hour++ of my life for the drugs to take effect. lepas tuh baru leh terlelap. terjaga sebab basah ngan peluh + perlu berry2 lagik. so, mc laa isnin. jumpa doktor lagik. dapat ubat sakit perut + antibiotik. nak rasain loeeeeeeeee. siapa jahat2 dalam perut saya ini. matiklaaaaaaaaaa kena bunuh ngan antibiotik :))

a little bit on raya… i’m happy coz dapat naik the red lancer :D wadie bawak jalan2 gi kampung fayyad. pehtu sesat plak sebab tak sure ada gelanggang futsal baru, haha. it was so much fun. i miss spending time with him :)

and i miss farina’s family too. sedar sebab tengok pic raya diorang kat fb farina.

this year maklong lupa nak tanya soalan “bila?”. maklang asked “dah ada calon ke belum?” to which my cousin answered “kalau ada pun takkan nak beritahu mak” and semua orang gelak2, haha.

yes, i’m happy! :D

beberapa hari sebelum raya

ahhh, bulan ini belum ada entry lagik. apa ke halnya aaaaaaaaaaa malas bebeno laa sekarang ni nak menaip. words and idea keep on swirling in my head, tapi haram jadah aku rajin nak translate those into words. then hilang sajalah ditelan neuron2 otak aku segala idea itu, bleh? :p

hari tuh saya kena anta gi u*p plak (apa motif nak star2 ni ek? adakah tanak org google dan jumpa? haha). saya memula malassss la sangat. what with segala urusan pembelian rumh belum settle. but then dah duduk lama2 cam best aa plak. yang paling best sebab nak balik gemas adalah senang. ikut hway segamat-kontan baru dalam 2 jam lebih skets. project plak asik extend2. pehtu management suh saya balik, nak jimat kos konon. arghhhhhh, duk kl kos sayalaa meningkat. dah aa asik nak poya2 kan :p anyway, arituh duk kontan dah syok tuh sebab dah terbiasakan. takde date ngan sayang tetiap minggu. dia busy nak setup business dia awal2 tuh kan. pehtu dah agak stabil baru teringat kat saya ni.

anyway, saya suka puasa. maybe since saya dilahirkan di bulan ramadhan kot. 1st week puasa, wan liana baik hati tumpangkan saya seminggu. selasa pulun makan buffet kat shogun. nak pensan rasanya kekenyangan. sahur minum susu + makan kurma. rabu nak berbuka ngan sayang, mamat tuh slambe plak busy. ok fine! berbuka sendiri kat aeon au2 kat kenny roger’s. sambil2 tuh surfing guna free wifi wendy. khamis, berbuka dalam kereta makan kurma, ahahhaha. supposedly berbuka ngan sayang. tapi jalan jammed banget nih. sayang tunggu2 saya dia terlelap kat rumah, bleh? aspalela betul. call2 3 kali baru terjaga. baru nak datang. pehtu sempat lak tuh makan dulu kat umah. saya makan sayang tengok :P

minggu ke-2, mama fayyad dah balik kl. merempat kembali kat umah dia sampailaa sekarang ni. sempat jumpa dia sehari je. on wednesday diorang balik perak since atuk fayyad warded, pensan coz sakit jantung dia tuh aaa. sunyi gila duk rumah sorang. berbuka everyday still kat luar. sahur as usual susu + kurma. tuh menu kat kl tuh. senang and tak berapa lapar. dicampur konon2 nak kasik seimbang sebab makan macam jin masa berbuka, ahahhahahaha.

owh, hari tuh masa beli barang2 buat kuih kat jj, jumpa uncle tobys  muesli bar! bertahun dah takde kat pasaran malaysia. rindu gilaaaaaaaaa. takde jenama lain leh lawan keenakan uncle toby’s tau. owh, rasanya dah tau kenapa takde lama. sebab dia dah split kot. sekarang nestle yg produce. uuuu gembira2.

anyway, malam yang sama mengamuk ngan sayang ni, ahahahhaha. siap hanged up on him lagik. nak dijadikan cerita, mula2 kecik ati. sebab dia dah janji nak simpan kurma kat saya. sekali dia jual abes ada orang borong :( then nak gi jalan2 kat bazaar jalan tar tuh, dia dah kepenatan ni, nak balik mandi kata dia. saya kata ok, skalik dia tak balik2. saya lak menuju ke sana jammed kat kg bharu. bila dah lepas, tatau nak park. polis tengah menyaman kereta2 yang park tepi jalan tuh. sayang sms tanya katne. saya call aa cakap takleh nak parking. dia boleh diam jap pehtu kata “saya dah tak larat ni..” saya hangen terus kata “nak balik balik ah. saya pon nak balik!” terus hang up. ahahhaha. bleh tak dia tatau nak pujuk saya ni. saya terus meraung2 dalam kereta. pehtu yang kelakarnya, dah berenti meraung, got a call from ada auntie ni. bleh dia kata “arin ada tak?” what???. auntie tuh claimed that she’s arin’s auntie. pelik laa kan. tak jadik majuk pastuh. sampai umah call sayang bitau. and tatau aa auntie tuh makcik dia tak. sebab auntie tuh kat bangi, dia rasa takde pon sedara kat bangi. kot ye pun ada, apahal plak no saya plak auntie tuh simpan. bukannya sayang distribute merata2 nombor saya, ahahhahahaha. kelakar laa.

after spending more than 3 years together, i’m fine with that. or agaknya since sekarang saya dah ada nini kot. tempat kasih sayang dicurahkan tanpa ada complaint dari budak kucing tuh, hihi. tak kisahlaa. i’m his girl. he loves me in his own way :) marah2 majuk sendiri je.

sayang tuh kerja keras sangat. nih dah demam2 dah. malam2 tido kat gerai jalan tar tuh je. take turn since adik/abang dia jaga gerai siang2 kan. demam2 pun kena gak tido sana. takde sapa nak jaga kata dia. see, sangat laa responsible mamat seorang itu. kalo saya dah lama mengamuk2 :p and semalam tau plak rindu kat saya ni. ajak jumpa segala. ke demam sebab rindukan saya? haa, baik mengaku! hihi.

oklah, nak sambung wat kerja skets lagi nih. doakan saya rajin menaip entry lagik. take care all. daaaa!