rumah oh rumah

i’m yet to enter the future home, since the previous owner only supply me with 2 keys when there’s suppose to be 3 keys to enter the house *sigh* well, i guess another few weeks won’t make much different anyway.

finally, been able to memadu asmara with sayang after 2 long agonizing weeks *drama, drama, hihi* insisted on be with him walaupun cik abang tu hanya nak beli supply kedai je pun, haha. sumbat2 ivan penuh dengan telur etc. kereta awak dah jadi kereta telur, he said. haha.

we talked and we laughed and we touched each other lovingly (oklah, the last part may be exaggerated, haha). and we talked.

“saya baca kat forum kan, memang rumah lease hold ni process nak tukar nama semua lambat dari free hold”

“lease hold tu camne lak? nanti kerajaan leh amik balik?”

“haah laa. 96 tahun lagi”

“lerrr, lepas tu nak duduk mana?”

“iskk, takkan laaa hidup lagi kot lepas 96 tahun. takkan sampai 130 tahun kot”

“abes tu anak cucu camne?”

“anak cucu biarlah cari harta sendiri”

“hehe”

see, he dared to bring “our” future kids/grandkids into the equation, padahal takde pun nak mengadakan progress untuk menghasilkan mereka. hahhahahaha. tergelak lak saya sambil menaip2 ni.

tataulaa apa kena hormon saya semenjak 2 menjak ni. extra needy plak jadinya saya ni *sigh* nasib aaa sayang mood agak2 normal, so he could withstand me bugging him and kacau2 him every once in a while.

oklah, nak try tidur. esok keje 1/2 day. maybe minggu ni bleh jumpa sayang lagi kot. kalo saya balik kl laa. uuuu, so happy with that prospect! ahh, tido tido. take care all, nite2.

archtic rally 2010

kimi will join archtic rally which starts today and end tomorrow. tak sabar nak tengok how well he could do :)

vote of confidence from wrc champion, sebastien loeb here.

all the best kimi!

saya sudah bleh berumah tangga!

kontroversi gila tajuk entry, haha :p

anyway, got call from my lawyer this morning, informing yang kunci rumah sudah bleh diambil. dengan ini sahlaa status saya sebagai penduduk tetap bandaraya petaling jaya. sekarang tengah fikir segala menda yang harus dikerjakan.

1. tunggu dividen kwsp 2009, then withdraw duit acc 2.

2. beli hub & hood and buat kitchen cabinet.

3. beli katil

4. pindah (selamba je pindah jatuh no 4, haha)

5. buat kenduri doa selamat (ayah jadi imam, hihi)

tuh je 5 priority dulu. kalo duit berbaki, bleh beli set meja makan n sofa. kot tak takpelah. hidup je lah dengan apa yang ada dulu.

di sini saya ingin merakamkan ucapan terima kasih setinggi2nya kepada

1. ayah saya yang menjadi bank kasi loan bayar downpayment rumah

2. fayyad sekeluarga yang sudi memberi tempat berteduh for almost a year. i’m so gratefull to have you as my friends *mood sebak*

lastly, takde kena mengena..but nak wish happy birthday kepada my dearest friend, incik penasihat, hairi. semoga selalu dalam lindungan dan rahmat Allah, amin.

the missing business

it hurts. it hurts each and every day not seeing your face, not sitting by your side in comforting silence or listening to your voice that i adore so much.

i’m a needy person. deep inside. people might perceive me as a loner. i myself think i am a loner. but i don’t want to spend time alone without you by my side. i just act like it’s okay. that i know you have to have some space. that i myself should need some space of my own. but in reality i don’t want us to be apart. i don’t want to be here when you’re there. not knowing what you do. are you happy or sad or stressed. do you miss me as much as i do.

yes it hurts.

i miss you every second we’re apart.

saya hanya suka dipegang oleh pakwe sendiri :p

wallooo, hihi. hari ni adalah agak2 gembira. setelah 2-3 hari penat banget, hari ni dapat excuse untuk not attending workshop di waktu malas kerana nak prepare feedback workshop. malam ni bleh mendapatkan rehat yang cukup, hihi.

by the way, refering to my entry title, saya terfikir hal2 personal space ni. then saya teringat kawan saya si rudy yang beritahu saya pasal individual personal space. and orang pertama yang buat saya aware bulatan personal space saya adalah arwah kawan saya itu. dia suka nak berdiri dekat2 bila nak bercakap ngan saya. but every time dia take a step towards me, mesti saya balas ngan a step backwards, huhu. i’m not comfortable being crowded in by most people. alah, macam dalam notes kat wikipedia tuhla. maybe i should add point. saya rasa maybe jarak personal space ni pun dipengaruhi oleh macam mana dia dibesarkan. macam saya yang cuma 2 beradik and almost always only have myself to amuse me, jarak personal space tu is quite large.

especially to new acquitance, i don’t like dipegang2. i mean this in situation like, ko nak cakap2 ko pegang2 aku plak. worse, ko singgul2. ko ingat ini lagu dangdut senggol senggolan ke? very the rimas, i tell you.  or when you sit side by side in any event, that person move closer to you. rasa nak tolak2 je, haha. ini sama jantina laa. kalo lain jantina aku sekeh je :p

and i’m not comfortable main tepuk tampar ngan lelaki. eventhough my closest friend. ngan si wadie saya selalu wat action cam nak menyepuk dia, but i never did it.  i’m not exactly condeming person yang selamba tepuk tampar tu. just that, some guys ada selamba je ingat i’m okay ditepuk tampar oleh mereka. no i’m not. people might perceive me as “open” ke apa ke, but i highly value my personal space. this include acara tepuk tampar.

i’m writing all this triggered by someone. this is my current feeling for her. tatau di masa depan tetiba saya suka dia plak kan. i feel bad cause tak suka dia, but i could’t help it. saya baru je kenal dia. but she’s too clingy and too pushy. mak aihh, macam criteria girlfriend from hell for guys kan? ahahhahahaha. that’s the case. i don’t want to disclose any details for i fear somehow should she stumble upon this blog, sedih plak dia. i want to be aa good hearted person. life is too short.

speaking on that. i hereby would like to annouce that i forgive another friend of mine for acting poyo. her acts were not actually crime kan. dia cuma buat saya rasa meluat je for her insensitivity. and i hold grudge for so long. i still won’t add her at facebook though :p just to avoid saya menarik balik kemaafan saya, mind you.

ahh, harini perlu tidur awal. esok nak jumpa sayang! he finally let me see him in lanchang :D haven’t see him for 3 weeks. been missing him a lot. take care all. tata.

32

selamat ulang tahun sayang.

segenap cinta dan kasih sayang saya akan selalu menemani awak :)

semoga Allah memberkati hidup kita, memberi kita petunjuk dah hidayah selalu, mengurniakan kita rezeki yang berkat dan mencukupi, amin.

selipar pink gambar kucing

that’s what i was wearing to pasar malam today :p

harini kerja dari guest house lagik. tomorrow office dah ready di bpa. user ala2 request us to come to work earlier. so boss ala2 cakap kerja from 8-5 for us. fine by me. still bleh bangun 730am since block office sebelah je, haha. lagipun balik kul 5 bleh sampai awal kampung. yaribbaaa yahuuu.

by the way, harini bermula baik. been browsing u*p website untuk cari list2 staff nak letak dalam minutes kick-off meeting. guess what i’ve found out? my ex-dean, dr sab has been u*p’s tnc! auwwwwwwww. i smiled over that fact. dr. sab adalah sangat kewl dan baik. saya sayang dr. sab. i guess most of us love him as well :)

and today is 1 of those days yang berduyun2 nak ym saya. i rarely ym orang during office our since tak sure orang tuh bz ke tidak ke. except when i’m extremely stress or bored or both :p and certain2 orang je saya ym pun, hihi. then solved few items at work. maka hari ni takla sesangap semalam (walau kerja pakai baju tidur je, ok!)

then out trainee ym. dia akan join us next week albeit for another team. tetiba dia kata “kak muna, birthday kita samalah”. hahahahhaha. after sue left me dalam 4 bulan lepas, dah ada pengganti lain dah kat office. babai sue. ahahhahahahaha (gila berlagak ayat). no wonder i felt some sort of attachment to her. walau memula rasa macam nak menyombong tapi macam tak boleh :p

next week gonna be hectic. saya dipertanggungjawabkan dalam committee for a workshop untuk this project. maybe will tido kat resort (or maybe not, kalo fikir2 kekudukutan opis kitorang, huhu). i don’t mind either way :) glad to be involved. saya suka bila saya banyak kerja. saya suka planning2 and see things through :D

on personal note, next week will be sayang’s birthday. dah tua dah mamat tuh. tah bila aaa nak dapat hidayah yang he needs me by his side. constantly. bukan bleh memilih2 hari, hihi. he loves children. abes tuh bila nak dapat anak sendiri sayang oit? yelah2, rezeki Allah, kalo dah umur 40an pun, kalo ada dapat jugak kan? against all odds. i just have to be grateful yang dia dapat hidayah untuk menyayangi saya, ye dak?

oklah, tetiba dah malas plak terus menaip. i’ll share with you latest song by the lucky laki – sahabat.

Aku suka Lampard
Kamu suka Owen
Aku suka Metallica
Kamu suka Agnes Monica

Aku suka Rooney
Kamu suka Anelka
Aku suka Amerika
kamu suka Jamaika

Reff:
Meski kita tak sama
Bukan berarti kita tak bisa bersahabat
Meski kita tak sama
Bukan berarti kita harus bermusuhan

Aku suka Inggris
Kamu suka Perancis
Aku sukanya meringis
Kamu suka menangis

p/s: aku suka el :”>

shocked

at around 1030am this morning, i received sms from farina, stating that my friend involved in an accident and deceased.

he was 29.

we used to be quite close before he did an unthinkable thing to me. instead of reprimand him, i choose not to befriend him anymore. i cut the tie of our friendship. and upon hearing this news, a sad feeling washed over me.

he might not realized what he had done to make me so angry. he might not realized that i had decided not to associate with him anymore. before that unspeakeable incident, he rarely sms. it was always me sms him and asked him out to hang out or watch movies.

2 years ago, he sms me and ask for my address. he was getting married, he said, and would like to send me a card. i didn’t reply. he married his junior who is also farina’s junior and colleague.

and today, he left his young wife and child.

according to farina, he lived in malacca with his family since his wife works in malacca. but he still worked in kl. he went to work by motorcycle everyday. and today, his wife received call from police informing that he involved in an accident and had died. imagine her pain.

al-fatihah for my friend hafizullah. i might have choosen the wrong time to decide to befriend you again. but i pray Allah forgives us both for being young and foolish. i forgive you. may you go in peace.

bekal

sebelum apa2, happy birthday wan liana. semoga dilindungi Allah selalu dan dikabulkan semua hajat di hati, amin.

i was inspired by this entry. bila cerita pasal bekal, teringat zaman sekolah rendah dulu. masa darjah 1 and 2, pagi2 ada makan2 free. rancangan makanan tambahan. frankly i was not qualified to join. alah, bukanlah nak kata family kami kaya, but both my parents were teachers. combine income mestilaa more than bape2 ratus yg qualify untuk rmt tu kan. my mum offered to pay for my portion kat guru besar. but guru besar kewl je kata takyahla. bape sen sangat katanya, huhu. i think that time, 99% of the school population qualified for rmt. takkan plak saya kena left out kan kan. manalaa budak umur 7/8 tahun faham nak diterangkan yang dia tak qualify nak makan free. as far as i was concern, i was poor too. my mum won’t allowed me to have icecream kotak. eskrem mesia seposen tuh biasala makan petang2. eskrem tuh sumer orang pon mampu beli :p

my favourite dish would be ayam masak lemak cili padi. i’d queued up earlier, then bleh laa pilih yang ada kentang. yummy i tell you. makan plak kat akar2 pokok hutan kat belakang sekolah. 1 of the old headmaster apparently adalah pencinta alam/hutan. he planted a lot of pokok2 hutan, which we kids adored to play during recess or after school. but then after he retired (or changed to another school, tak sure lah), the new headmaster cut up all those beautiful trees :( sayang kan? boleh plak dia buat projek tanak pokok koko. pehtu bebudak had to adopt the cocoa trees. buh baja (compost material dari sampah2 bakar) and siram every single day.

then dah takde rmt. tatau apa sebenarnya terjadi. or tukar headmaster yang won’t allow me to join the rmt kids. tahla.

anyway, masa sekolah rendah i’d bring bekal every single day. most of my friends did too. lauk simple je pun. telur masak kicap. or even ikan bilis goreng dengan bawang and cili. meleleh lak air liur teringat, hihi. bila loceng recess went off kami berlari2 carik port nak makan. bawah pokok of course. i missed all those trees, i do. i still had the mental images. at the front left of the school perimeter, ada pokok gajus (yang tak pernah berbuah pun) and rambutan. and apa jenis pokok tah. after the mini jungle had been demolished, sinilah port nak makan :)

port nak makan tuh today had been cleared up. jadik pondok jaga and parking for teachers. dulu2 our front gate was directly depan main road. maybe current headmaster fikir safety and all, so moved the front gate to that left side of school perimeter. front gate sekarang direct access dengan jalan masuk kampung. isk, jammed plak situ pagi2, payah orang nak keluar *tiba2 emo, haha*

masa sekolah menengah takdela bawak bekal. sapa plak bawak bekal kat sekolah asrama? haha. tapi saya pernah ada zaman suka minum nestum. so, bancuh nestum ngan air water cooler. owh, i take my nestum cold. i love that chrunchy feeling, sambil minum sambil makan :p

zaman kerja pun saya rajin bangun pagi2 and masak bekal. sebab saya bosan makan kat luar. saya bawak bekal sampai zaman malas and jemu makan masakan sendiri. pehtu makan kedai. jemu makan kedai rotate makan bekal balik, haha.

ahhh ngantuk plak mata dah lunch ni. oklah tuh je saya nak membebel arini. take care. tata :D

the new year post

ok, saya lambat 4 ari. so what? ahahhaha. gila kekwat. macamlaaa ada orang nak persoalkan saya lambat ke saya cepat ke kan kan, hihi. anyway arini besday one of my bestfriend, edna. saya tak rasa dia baca blog saya pun. tapi takpe, wish gak. happy birthday edna! :D

i was on leave on the 31st (as i said before). saje nak buat last minute shopping. agenda utama dia, present sayang + new shoes. yang tak beli2 punya, nak kerat rambut. and owh, buku jaja & din. been waiting for that book for ages. untuk sesiapa yang suka baca novel, korang HARUS baca cerita tu. kak sue (as we the “fan” fondly called her, and what she called herself) menulis lain dari yang lain. and this book is totally lain dari novel2 cinta picisan yang melambak kat pasaran. click here to read the first episode from jaja & din e-novel. judge for yourself best ke tak :D

woke up at around 930am. called my mum tanya camne nak buat pulut kuning. beras pulut dah rendam malam sebelumnya. mak kata bubuh je air/santan kira2 acup pulut tuh je and jerang macam biasa. kacau2 selalu supaya tak melekat. then masak sambal udang campo petai. udang dan petai dah siap siang malam sebelumnya jugak. so menyambal sambil masak pulut. hasilnya..delicious! nyam nyam. makan and keluar rumah around 1130am.

bajet nak tengok mualaf kul 11 lebih tuh. pehtu tak sempat dahlaa kan. so jenjalan beli makanan nini and vitamin. sebabnya, cila dah sms kata saya kena gi kuantan dah the next week. company dapat project lagi, syukurlah. so siap2 beli sebab tau mesti lama punya kat kuantan. tatau masa bila lagik nak beli.

pas beli tuh gi mph. hambek ko borong buku tak hengat dunia lagik. lepas tuh queued up untuk beli tiket mualaf. ada kul 445. so kensel terus balik 31. pehtu simpan buku + barang2 nini. gi saloon and cut my hair. pura2 tanya sayang bleh tak kerat rambut the week before. sayang yang banyak lagik problem sendirik nak fikir bolayan saya. ahahhahaha. tak dijawab eh orang tanya :p ah tak kira ah, memang nak potong pun. psoriasis kat nape dah agak melampau sebab kawasan tuh panas. pastuh nak ke mana2 kena tocang2 rambut sebab kalo ikat ponytail memang menjulur keluar tudung. mintak senior stylist. berjaya gak potong rambut di tempat mahal, haha. anyhow i love the cut. sama rata dia potong. sebab bentuk kepala saya yang bulat, tak 100% cun lagik. but i know in 2 weeks time akan menjadik super duper cun. dolu2 pon camni gak, hehe.

pastu carik kasut baru kat jj. berjaya. makan mcd prosperity tanak bawang. take away sebab aircond mcd ou tuh rosak ke hapa tah. panas je. dahlaa ramai orang. take away makan kat bench mengadap reject shop. then cukup2 je time nak masuk wayang. mualaf was quite ok i guess. buat saya yang tak berapa pandai carik pengajaran ni, i think what the late yasmin tried to stress out is, we must try to forgive everyone. always bersangka baik cenggitu sebab islam tought us to do so :) i watched the movie with bittersweet emotion. never will i be able to watch another work of hers. may Allah bless her in the hereafter.

pastu beli adiah sayang n beli groceries kat jj. bayar parking terkejut kena rm5. ruupanya dah dekat kul 8. gila ah lama shopping.

balik baca buku jaja & din. pehtu terjiwang2. pehtu tetiba terasa overwhelm by my love for sayang. cried a bucket over that :”> owh, sempat called sayang to hear his voice last for 2009 and first for 2010. sayang dah tido. mamai2 je dengar saya bebel.

oklah, dah ngantuk. sejuk je ujan2 ni. rasa macam dalam ekon lak. take care. tata.